Vineyard, Doubled by Luke Dylan Ramsey – Finale

In the Infinite Basement, A Tiresome Dialogue by Master: the Vineyard’s Swell Caretaker

I don’t want to be electrocuted in my car, blown up

itself it grows fallow, leaking out precious liquidities

I have learned a precious lesson: never care for what can be objectified

the price on my head grows by the day… my trees, my vines, my grass

my paranoia

*

I explore downwards, justly a nobody, now, finally

these stanzas are technically my notes from underground

I can’t see myself in all these mirrors

my face is obscured now, I paid for the sweep

I pay off the raids, don’t call anyone, merely exist

groceries paid for and delivered by drone

the AIs shuffle everything into its right place

mostly without any help from master

everything I need digitally available

I avoid VR and read the dead

swallowing pages whole when I’m ceasing

*

I’m being paid off to stay away

I didn’t watch my accomplices closely

I was burned but I didn’t know it yet

I must’ve been erased by now

my four-d printer creates an ever growing basement

I was convinced I was the Antichrist

I thought I was troubled by an angry thirst

this tower level with solely me I create

as I go down on hell

*

I’m dedicated to myself, at least

it took me too long to realize too much

I needed to stay inside, so I did

so much I should’ve done, but didn’t

searching out nirvana underground

the paradise of escaping my own watching eyes

*

everything around me is growing to a scale I hadn’t foreseen

too wrapped up in my personal master privileges

trying like perfect to escape the conspiracy that is my past

always rumors of pandemics now

at least there’s no acid rain, though I never walk

outside, especially when it’s storming

thunder and lightning seem to rage for me

I don’t know where my journey is headed

I made too many deals in my youth, but I tried to escape

and nobody is ever allowed to escape

I am watched except for where I let the wires loose

heaven is the succor of sleep, so I can escape the voiced memories

plans I should never have vocalized

*

in my youth, I was wasted, often in public

though the AIs tried to train me, I remain untamed

I should buy lions, tigers, lean in on the Scarface shit

when I’m paranoid I’m good, out here in obscurity

*

that package that got left, I couldn’t give less of a shit

my shit is fertilizer indeed

received hate messages other than that

invasive only to the AIs, who ward them off

I’m being punished for being aware but not participating

every job, I applied, but I didn’t really have references, a past life, et cetera

I paid to start over so many times

so many times I had to flee

so many times I’ve had to return

*

my transport used to carry me everywhere, I lived in there, sometimes

I drank in bars and thought dumb shit but didn’t say the dumb shit

I don’t necessarily want to be stuck here, but I am

*

I dreamt the basement infinite, and so it was

I sprayed the walls with artwork, nodules of my writing

my obscurity was immense

until the AIs crept back in

*

okay… the package was a bit much

it documented certain conversations

the certainty of which I’ve forever tried to escape

the performance art I unwittingly recorded in my mind’s eye

all these memories I can’t escape

so into the basement, so infinite, I go

*

too much as rendered by all the weeds growing round here

I occur naturally in every timeline, I’ve checked

I’m an idiot, an alchemist

in loneliness solely I’m stable

the world outside doesn’t need me

the AIs and the wild growth seem to want my attention

I’m guessing, here, that I was always the problem, in the past

I’m guessing, here, that I was in a trance

controlled by secret messages, altered versions, hallucinating myself into an early death

*

I’ve been jailed, I had been entrapped

I have a record that holds me back

the visions I documented were used

for all the worst reasons, I should’ve Pynchoned myself, photography steals the soul

the package documents what was taken from me

the happiness I can’t return to

my hand was used as a gun

*

I had INTERPOL connections at one point

at least now I have no one to glance at

locking eyes with myself, I can’t, I won’t

I blocked everyone I could with a tender “Who dis?”

I have so much to block out

the parties where I was gratefully forgotten

the spies who played me for my alchemical visions

the gods I stayed close to, despite myself

the religions I couldn’t seem to represent, or create, indeed

everyone around me accused of gang activity

so of course I was too

everyone around me accused of cult activity

so of course I was too

*

the vineyard is no ranch… I retain no memories of the desert

where I dreamed myself into an astral

transmigration into national colors

I thanked only myself for the joy

*

Mossad trailed the flights I instantly regretted

flights to cities that frightened me

the flights that could’ve and should’ve been taken down

and in other timelines they were, I checked

I will replace myself, eventually

the further inside I explore

the more infinity somehow grows

*

I was given special information, usually

the package was sourced from my prior special internet

it all contains complex offers

my AIs need to negotiate for me, but they refuse

I made mistakes, with money, with chancing my life for the road’s holy nature

my car is dead in this basic way

I am stuck here

I am stuck hereinside myself

in the infinite basement I explore

in here I can only love myself

myself alone

*

I knew I was a shaman, and I was shamed for it

in the infinite basement I deliquesce into past lives, checking just to see

I stopped taking communion, and I was performative about it

I didn’t want to leave my car, so, often, I didn’t

I had a target set on me by a stalker

and at a young age, as well

I have good reason to believe myself the Antichrist

the government kept disappearing my tenuous associates

as I disappear further just further into the infinite basement

*

only in the infinite basement do I reign supreme

the plants and vines and trees don’t listen to master

I have so much to avoid

*

the parties I disappeared from

they checked my keystrokes too much

I didn’t take advantage of the vistas I was offered

when it got real, I split

into new timelines, I come apart

*

I understood, eventually, what I was at the center of

I created lists of cabinets I wanted

life, forever on the road… I tried to stay adventurous

but I forever chose the wrong associates

not here, though, not even golems or plants are welcome

as master I’ve never had a pet

*

the package’s arrival, then the DDT bomb which didn’t accomplish much

at least there were no flashbangs this time

I never stayed where I was wanted and needed

I kept achieving a kick out

I was assaulted

except in the infinite basement

*

I was my own walking nightmare

I was a walking lawsuit unto myself

my associates kept trying to jumpstart my car

when it didn’t need to be jumpstarted

every decision I could make was wrong

or I played myself into being wronged

it was made clear what would happen

if I kept appearing in public, so in the infinite basement I stay

*

I delight in my pretend obscurity, I aim my face at the mirrors

but I still can’t see myself there

anywhere but here

*

I couldn’t tell you the future, the timelines digress into nothingness

it’s still, I lonely find

I don’t belong, but I’m a god when I’m alone

*

I kept cursing people

I kept being used

only looking for my own path, even so

*

I was accused of mischief

for my magic was too strong

I refused all diagnoses

the associates I mistakenly kept around kept recording me

never talk politics, I knew it, I knew that

people kept rewarding my stalker

I tried to stay begone, faded

even I did, for a time, in times thankfully much bygone

then the package, and the cosmic DDT bomb

and me just trying to fade away

*

I’m a righteous man, though I’ve been treated obscenely

I was hooked at one point

my obscurity is now infamous

hits out, tits out

digging deeper so as not to die… yet

the infinite basement can only grow

maybe I’ll hit oil or a vein of gold

a fossil, a skeleton, arrowheads, buried treasure

restoring my stature in mirror eyes

I can’t remember most of my misdeeds

they’ve been blown out of me

but master has been bad

master has taken advantage…

I only remember being alone, anymore

my house as obscured as I am

digitally, mentally, physically

I only know how to exist without you

I could make the voices stop, end psychosis now

I can still feel your loving caress

but only through the hands of master

*

I’ve created massive acreage in this infinite basement

the infinite basement, it blooms, no longer fledgling

the walls reach out so I shove them away

I shove you all away

away from all this cultural and cultish violence, I go

these moments of peace are but warfare

I remain below it all

*

notes from underground my house

splayed over with leaves and camouflage netting

the satellites, the drones, the predators

everyone striving to find me, but I digress

the pogroms, national in scale, insane

I possess the funds for special treatment

this is where I’m locked in

*

I should’ve never fallen in love with another

I knew it early, too

*

I left because it was always my fault

I continually abscond

because

it remains always my fault

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